A typical conversation in Surrey retail

Customer: See why can my dealer call me when I have no minutes on my phone?

Me: I'm not sure.

Customer: I don't want to include British people in this, but you know how it works with people who believe in the snake or the dragon.

Me: Umm....

Customer: You know what I mean, it's the way it is.  I know how things work.  My dealer is always calling me, he's on crack you know how things are. 

Me: .... So how many Pay-As-You Go minutes do you want?