I'm nearly done these beer shots so it might be time to get back into school

56227461_68e060879d_2 Taking a look at any random month over the past year or so and you'll find entries like this one [jks] where I'm looking for work.  It has become the new looking for a girlfriend in the dramatic narrative that is my life, and like my pre-Lydia attempts at finding love my job hunt has resulted largely in disapointment and nights spent surfing the internet looking for porn... I mean jobs.

A bit over a month ago I felt like I'd finally gotten into a good position in the hunt.  I'd an interview with a local company looking for a technical writer, I had an interview lined up for a sales position with the new Apple Store and I had an interview lined up with the comic book store I shop at.  The Apple Store and the technical writing job were both oppertunities that I considered to be career stepping stones; positions that would lead to bigger and better things.  The comic book store seemed like it would be fun, and a way to help make some extra money to help pay for the wedding.

I got a part time job at the comic book store, which was not the full time position I'd hoped for but was a promising start.  The techincal writing job did not pan out, and the Apple Store turned me down after bringing me in for a group interview where they did not actually interview us but spent the entire time telling us why we should work for Apple.  By the end of the interview I'd gone from really wanting to work at the new store to really really wanting to work at the new store.  Sadly there was something in the way I watched the promotional video that informed them they did not want me.

Meanwhile at work I was transfered to another store after a second poor score on the Mystery Shops that Rogers does, and pretty much told that another poor score would mean that I'd be fired.  Now scoring poorly on the Mystery Shop program makes me sound like a shitty employee, but the fact is that's not the case.  I'd argue that being a hard worker, showing up on time and being easy to deal with made me a good employee, but I'd rather argue about the Mystery Shop program.  The scores aren't based on whether or not we're friendly and helpful with a customer just how hard we push the product.  The testers all indicated that they would have bought the product from me, that they felt like I addressed their questions and concerens, had promoted the band well and respected them.  The poor score comes from not pushing hard enough.  So in order to keep my job I've got to be the douche sales guy.  You know the guy in Future Shop who drives you crazy because he won't actually leave you alone.

It leaves me wanting to hit somebody or something.  The choices as far as I can tell are hitting the bottles or the books and so I've been spending some time looking at B.C.I.T. programs that could find me a career that involved something other than sales.  I've  been looking at some sort of web development thing, since I'd like one of those cushy Web 2.0 jobs where I can ride around on a Segway or play Nerf football during lunch hours or technical writing since I sort of suspect that I'd find writing code really dull.

Anyone have any ideas?  Any program suggestions?  The location of an orchard so that I can steal fresh apples to use for sucking up to my new profs?  Another laboured not-very-funny fruit themed sentance?