"Something is about to give

I can feel it coming

I think I know what it means

I'm not afraid to die

I'm not afraid to live

And when I'm flat on my back

I hope to feel like I did"

— "Kite", U2


i was going to quote the U2 song "40", but there was too much God mentioned in it and I've got to save something for my post ten years from today. I've got to keep something in the reserve tank, and while one should always be writing as what they were working on was the last thing they'd ever write, I feel like I've got to keep a little bit in reserve. Even now, hinting at what I might quote ten years from now, I'm playing a dangerous game. You could just Google the lyrics and then make a point of not dropping by my blog in a decade, just because you already know what I'm going to lead off with. I may have tipped my hand, but hopefully your poor memory and apathy will make the song choice seem like a spur of the moment flash of inspiration.

It's a big birthday, a big year. All of the other milestones that I've roared past in the inevitable process of aging have been mere hints of what was to come. If I figured I'd have found myself a career by twenty-two, only to find myself deeply committed to being a student journalist and never graduating at that age, it was okay because I'd not yet hit twenty-five. By twenty-five I figured that the detours my life had taken me had been worth waiting a bit longer to actually discover what it was that this life was for. Thirty though, well it's hard to consider this a simple extension of my teenage, or young adult years.

John Lennon is famous for saying, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Well truthfully he was famous for being a Beatle, which makes the wild and crazy turns his life took him on while he was "busy making plans" seem a little more awesome than working at the same job for nearly a decade while I scramble to get some more schooling stuffed into my head so that I can find this elusive "career" and start this adult life. My lifeclock has already turned red, and we are entering lastday [wp].

I would of course hope for Renewal at the fiery ritual of Carousel, but then again that's a reference that might be lost. All I can say is I'm on the look out for Sandmen.

The only "adult" thing that I've feel like I've done, probably in my entire life, is getting engaged earlier this year [jks]. Everything else about me just feels like a slightly dumber, fatter version of the Jeffery Simpson that graduated high school back in 1997. By this point I was meant to have at least one published novel, a screenplay being seriously considered by Steven Spielberg or at the very least my own small desert island for retreating to between standup comedy gigs. Instead I'll wake up thirty years old not as Prime Minister of this great nation, or even a smaller shittier nation with lower standards, without a record deal or even pet mogwai.

"Did I waste it?

Not so much I couldn't taste it

Life should be fragrant

Roof top to the basement

The last of the rocks stars

When hip-hop drove the big cars

In the time when new media

Was the big idea

What was the big idea?"

— "Kite", U2

It's an easy thing to get confused and to lose sight about how great life is. If you're reading this blog here then I'd say you're life is pretty good. Not only do you get to enjoy my prose, but you've got enough money for electricity, probably own a computer and I'm guessing spend very little time worrying about either eating or being eaten by wild animals. I can't complain about anything, because if I was born in any other country, in any other era I'd never have had the fantastic life I've had [em]. If I haven't accomplished all that I feel I should have, then the key word is "I". It's easy to blame fate, circumstance or anything else but we make our own beds.

Or rather I leave it for Lydia to make if I leave first in the morning.

I'll probably post again later when I have a more coherent, focused set of thoughts about turning 30. Or maybe I won't. Goodness knows you should have come to realize that I never keep my word in regards to this blog. I give you a set of links to keep you busy while I cease posting for awhile and then within an hour I drop a massive post on meeting Stephen Harper, followed two days later by this.

I like to keep you on your toes. I hear it keeps you young.